Monday, March 16, 2009

I'm a Guinness Girl, in a Molson World


This year marks the 250th anniversary of Guinness and I think it should be celebrated. I love Guinness, always have. Back in the Dark Ages when I was a single girl working crazy hours, I sometimes drank a dark stout in lieu of eating dinner. Some say it is a complete meal, in and of itself, and I would have to agree. But I've often had to defend my choice of libation. Some people (the misinformed or dipsophobics of the world) think it's too dark, too heavy, too bold, too strong, too.....manly. Phht. I say give it a chance, people. Just taste it. Guinness is the real deal - pure, full-bodied yum.

And Guinness is good for you, people. You heard me. It's actually healthy. Don't believe me?


Researchers have found that antioxidants from the moderate use of stout might reduce the incidence of cataracts by as much as 50%. It is lower in alcohol, calories and carbohydrates than regular major brand beers. It even has fewer calories and carbohydrates than low-fat milk and orange juice. It also has higher levels of Vitamin B, which helps keep arteries unclogged. Hah! And a recent study has shown that Guinness is packed with vitamins, flavonoids and antioxidants, just like the ones found in dark-coloured fruits and vegetables, and they are what keep the bad form of cholesterol (LDL) away. Hands up, who would rather drink a pint than eat a plate of brussel sprouts? Thought so. And if that's not enough to convince you, clogged arteries contribute to erectile dysfunction. (Think about it, gentlemen, and I think you'll come to the conclusion that it's a pretty clear choice. Remember, it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that schwing.) Don't you want to grow up big and strong and healthy?

Take a gander at its distinguished history:

In 1759, Arthur Guinness signed a 9,000 year lease on an abandoned brewery in Dublin. Besides inheriting the malt houses, mill, horses and acreage he needed to brew beer, the lease also included water rights and twenty cases of pretzels. (Kidding about the pretzels. It was peanuts.) Just as water is crucial in the making of a decent whisky (my other true love) the purity and softness of the water is pivotal to the quality of Guinness. The brewers use the 'liquor', as they like to call the water, flowing from springs called the St. James's Wells which course all the way through the Wicklow Mountains. Thanks to the fruits of dear Arthur's labour, about 10 million glasses are chugged every day in 150 countries. Go Artie, go!

And thanks to the invention of the widget, we can now enjoy Guinness at home.

I love that velvet creaminess, the smooth caramel/coffee/bitter chocolate taste that has a hint of a metallic twang and mostly, the lightness and purity of the drink. To me, it's still a meal in a glass. And I love looking at it as much as I enjoy drinking it; it's mesmerizing. If you hold it to the light, you'll see it's not black but a deep, rich ruby colour, with creamy waves roiling to the top of the glass. You'll know you're taking a proper swig when you "break the seal" and end up with a foam mustache. Lick it off, or wipe it on your sleeve - it doesn't matter. You've now entered the sacred world of Guinness.

I'll leave you with this:


There's a big conference of beer producers.

At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.

The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on.

Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!

"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.

"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, than neither will I."




20 comments:

nightsmusic said...

Thank you, oh holy crow! Another woman who drinks Guinness! I would say you cannot believe the looks I get when I order one, but you've been there.

Draught with a thick, creamy head (and let's not get...well ;) ) is heaven in a glass. If it's bottled though, no glass for me, thank you! Which garners even stranger looks.

I don't care. I love my Guinness. :)

A Novel Woman said...

If it's in a can, I'll pour it in a glass, but if it's bottled, I drink out of the bottle, too!

nightsmusic said...

I LOVE you!! :D I can't drink it out of the can either. And boy, doesn't that ice cold bottle taste good on a 90 degree day after you've been working in the yard for a few hours?

I do enjoy it warm too though. I just love the taste. And how smooth it is. And how full bodied it is...

*sigh* Guinness :)

NBB said...

Thanks for that declaration of love! ;)

I'm the only one I know who likes Guinness and as nightsmusic said, as a woman get a few strange looks when I order "Guinness, what else." (and usually a secret smile by the waiter *g*)

Nina

Betty said...

Aha! A woman after me own heart! I'm a Guinness woman, too! I love it. I have cousins who scoff, turn up their noses, and call it "Beer Milk." I just don't understand them at all. Not..at..all.

Debby said...

Malt beverages trigger migraines for me, so if I come visit you, you don't have to worry about me swiping the Guinness. My son loves his Guinness as well. The little widget startled me, rattling around in the bottle.

A Novel Woman said...

Nina, you get the secret smile because you are in the know.

Betty, your cousins know nothing about real beer. Poor things. Feel sorry for them, then raise your glass of Guinness proudly.

Debby, luckily for me, Guinness is not one of my migraine triggers. Yay! Neither is chocolate, nor cheese. Double Yay!

jeanie said...

See, I am a stout girl (in both senses of the world) but I have never been a Guiness drinker.

A Novel Woman said...

Jeanie, I thought Guinness was a dry stout, no?

Bush Babe said...

Oh yar... actually drank it for the first time when I was breastfeeding (or more specifically, pumping) to try and improve my production. True story!!!
BB

dykewife said...

if it's got hops in it i get hives from it. sucks to be me. thankfully i don't like the taste of beers.

A Novel Woman said...

BB, whether or not your production improved, at least you felt better!

Dykewife, I'm tempted to quote the teens around here and say "tea-BAG" but I won't. One of the symptoms of hops or alcohol allergies is a red face and flushed chest and neck, which happens to me after a few sips. I thought in my case it was just menopause, but maybe I'm allergic. Ugh....

nightsmusic said...

Pam, that flush is your excitement at drinking a REAL beer!

:)

nightsmusic said...

Guinness's St. Patrick's Day ad...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eteWVqVPcTQ&e

A Novel Woman said...

Nightsmusic, that's pretty funny! I thnk I'll add it directly to the blog. Thanks!

nightsmusic said...

Welcomed! :D One of the women on the board I moderate posted it and you were the first one I thought of! lol

Laura Bradbury said...

Dear Pam,

OK. We now have a date for drinking Guiness together at SIWC 2009. I'm also a Guiness girl all the way.

You on?

Laura

A Novel Woman said...

Yeah, baby. Meet you in the bar!

roxanne said...

I'm a Guinness girl too. My husband also loves it, but it tends to trigger... unpleasantness. Of the gastrointestinal variety. So when we go out, he sticks to white wine, for everyone's sake. Without fail, the waiters give me the wine and set the holy grail in front of him. We make a show of switching glasses, I with delicate grace, he with manly assertiveness, just to watch them squirm.

We don't get out much.

A Novel Woman said...

Hi Roxanne! (waving madly)

I'm the reverse of your husband. Wine and beer make me ill, whereas Guinness and whisky sit quite well with me. I think it's the purity of the mountain streams or magic fairies who stir the mash or something.