The London Review of Books has the best personals ever. Just regular joes looking for an average date, assuming you are a crab-juggling fish nerd or a space goat.
My favourite one this week:
I subvert all the expectations built up in this column like a goat in space subverts gravy. Space-goat-esque gravy-subverting pervert (M, 51).
A goat in space subverting gravy? Ah, if only I was available....