Friday, May 4, 2012
Open letter to Chipotle Mexican Grill
When are you coming to Montreal? I hate to point out the obvious, but Toronto already has three Chipotle locations, and Montreal? Zip. Nada. Nothing. Most importantly, we love our food here in Montreal, nay, we embrace it with a passion bordering on obsession. Toronto? Let's just say I once sat beside a woman who ordered a non-fat non-caf latte and a bagel with low-fat cream cheese. As I sat sipping my full fat, bold, 100% fully caffeinated cup of joe (THE WAY GOD INTENDED COFFEE TO BE ENJOYED) she proceeded to cut the bagel in half, then used her fingernails like a miniature frontloader to scrape the soft doughy interior out of the bagel and on to her plate. She seemed to take it as a personal challenge to see how much dough she could gouge out while leaving the exterior intact. She paused every so often in her quest to remove bits of bagel guts from under her manicured claws, and didn't stop until that hapless bagel was fully eviscerated, a literal hollow shell of its former self. She then used a smidgen of low-fat cream cheese on the bagel crust and ate it as though it might bite her back. Here in Montreal? We drink half the night away with friends then stagger out looking for sustenance to get us home - poutine, smoked meat, souvlaki, or over to Fairmount or St.-Viateur to grab a bag of hot, hand-rolled bagels out of the wood-fired oven along with some smoked salmon and cream cheese. So come on, Chipotle. Do you not see how welcome you would be here in La Belle Province? Don't make me go to the U.S. or back to Toronto to get my fix. Give a girl a break. And a burrito with a side of guac.