Thursday, December 6, 2012

What's worse than a new John Travolta album?

There is a plethora of tasteful gifts on the market this Christmas.

There is the "Santa's Farting Butt Travel Pillow"  because it's not enough to keep a treasure like this at home, you'll want to take it on the road with you and "crack up" your fellow travelers. Guaranteed to become a family heirloom.

Ditto this nose gel dispenser which just screams upscale spa.

How about a Christmas ornament that looks like a cat poo?  (I wish I was making this up.)

And still, as tasteless as these are, none of them compare to the new John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John Christmas album.

Just when I think holiday music can't get any worse, we get these two crooning to each other. You know how when you have a sore tooth, and you keep poking it with your tongue even though it hurts? Try listening to a sample or two.

If anyone buys me this CD as a Christmas gift, I promise you I will glue my ears shut then hurl myself off a bridge. I would rather lather up with nose gel and deck the halls with cat turds.

(I would, however, wear a raw turkey hat as an homage to the inimitable Mr. Bean...although I guess technically, if I wore it I would be imitating him...)


Debby said...

Who thinks up this stuff?

A Novel Woman said...

Who BUYS this stuff?

Debby said...

If someone did not think of it, then there would be NO ONE buying it. I can't imagine anyone looking in a cat box and thinking, "Put a ribbon on that, and it would make a dandy Christmas ornament..."

A Novel Woman said...

Okay, that made me laugh. Mental picture. Snort.