A Pioneer Woman's New Photo Contest

Check out The Pioneer Woman's latest photo contest. The theme is green. Here are some of the "green" photos I pulled out of my archives. Not sure which ones to submit.

Which are your favourites, on the theme of green?

1. Gift bag

Number 2. Drops of Water

3. Columbine
4. Lily-of-the-valley
5. Strange Alien Plant (yes, that's the official name for it, from the Latin Plantus Alienus)

6. Hope springs eternal

7. Lady's mantle
8. Kathy Down The Road's hedge (I don't know what this is, but it's pretty. Like KDTR)

9. A Kid'll Eat Ivy too, wouldn't you?

10. Hosta La Vista, baby
11. Tulips are better than wan

12. A handcrafted dishcloth just makes doing the dishes more fun. Not.

Thoughts?

A Novel Woman waits impatiently for spring.

Does she knit? Does she peruse seed catalogues? Does she clean closets and air bed linens in a dizzying display of domestic fortitude and industriousness? Does she talk about herself in third person?

She makes granola. Healthy, crunchy, make-like-a-hippie-and-macrame-me-a-plant-holder granola. And you know why?

Just as sure as the tulips bud, the sap runs, and hope not only springs eternal but manages a few backflips because we've made it through another Canadian winter, that damn Mother Nature always pitches a fit and tells us, hey not so fast buster, I ain't through with you yet. It's going down to minus 13C tonight. Mother Nature has PMS and is making us all suffer.

And that's when I turn to comfort food. (Not the only time, but one of them. And in months with vowels in them.)

One of my staples is granola.

I've made granola since my student days. Like a lot of old recipes, that one called for a lot of brown sugar and oil (and inexplicably, skim milk powder) but now I make it this way. I have it every morning with milk or yogurt. It helps me get through the day when I wake up to snow covered tulips.

Keep Hope Alive Granola

4-5 cups regular rolled oats (not instant)
1/2 cup raw, unprocessed bran flakes (not the cereal, the light fluffy stuff)
1/2 cup natural wheat germ
1/2 cup maple syrup
3 TBSP oil (like canola)
1 tsp pure vanilla*
1/4 tsp almond extract (optional)
1 cup whole raw almonds, chopped
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes (optional, but I like it)
1 cup dried fruits - I used a mixture of dried apricots, cherries, blueberries, & raisins

Preheat oven to 350F. Combine oats, bran and wheat germ on a large cookie sheet or in a deep baking dish (I use my roasting pan because when I stir it, it doesn't end up all over my counter top. Experience may be a cruel master but it's also a smart little bugger. Listen to it.)

In a microwavable measuring cup mix maple syrup, oil, vanilla and almond extract. Heat about 30 seconds on high to warm it, then stir it into the oat mixture and mix well.

Bake for 10 minutes. Stir. Bake another 10 minutes and stir again. Mix in almonds and coconut and bake for another 10 minutes or until the mixture is golden brown. Remove and mix in the dried fruits.

Cool and put it in an airtight container. It's good for a month but it lasts less than a week in our house. Serve it with other cereals, or yogurt, even ice cream.

* The vanilla I have come to lurve more than my dog (almost) (depends on the day) is Sonoma Syrup Co. blend Pure Vanilla Extract Madagascar Bourbon & Tahitian Vanilla. I want to bathe in it. I bought one precious bottle at TJ Maxx in the U.S. and had I known how good it was I would have bought more. Luckily, I have since found it online. It's the most amazing vanilla you'll ever taste. Usually vanilla extract smells more like alcohol than vanilla, but this one is rich and sweet and just makes me want to hug myself.

Go forth and toast your oats!

For the cat lovers

And those who love cowboys, comes this:

Knitting the Light Fantastic

I'm midway through this project, feeling pretty chuffed about it as the colours put me in mind of Easter which is my target date for finishing the thing. And this yarn is special. I scooped the last three handspun, hand-dyed skeins on eBay. So it's special stuff. I can't just run down to the wool shop and get more. It's a limited edition, one might say.

Are you picking up on the subtle foreshadowing here?

I set it aside on the dining room table to "keep it safe" between sessions. And it should have been safe because my cats know they are not allowed on the table. Never, ever. In theory.

Along came This:
And This, well, This Boris just doesn't believe in rules. Rules are for other cats, oh, and the dog who is too stupid to live, and perhaps small humans.

Unfortunately Boris is also a consummate glutton saddled with the constitution of a weak old woman, a crotchety binge-eater who can't make the connection between his behavior and natural consequences. If one eats a partly rotted mouse, it will reappear on the front hall carpet. If one insists on eating an entire bird - feathers, beak and feet included - it will end up as a sort of sparrow tartar mounded on the front step like some grotesque art piece. But the dots are never connected in his tiny cat brain.

Because Boris also refuses to abide by any of the rules of the house, he not only gorged himself on a new food, a particularly pungent mixture which contains a lot of fish and fish oils designed to give him the shiny coat of a kitten, but he then climbed on the dining room table in order to digest it from a better vantage point. Unfortunately, he made himself comfortable on my unfinished scarf, and moments later, gacked up his entire fishy breakfast all over it. In the process, which involves simultaneous spewing and backing up as though the vomiting is something he can escape from, he managed to hit not only the scarf in progress, but also the giant ball of yarn, soaking both with fishy chunks and gooey strings of saliva. Ever tried cleaning a fat, fuzzy ball of yarn?

The question remains, do I wipe it off as best I can and keep on knitting then give it a thorough wash after I'm finished, or do I strangle the cat and call it a day?

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Spring is coming. Happy thoughts.

The end of publishing?

I think not. Thanks to one of my books and writers forum friends, I bring you this:

More Photoshop: Orange You Glad You Looked?

And I thought Photoshop was just for removing dust spots. (While you're watching, just close the annoying ad at the bottom of the video. Why do advertisers think these work?)



It's crazy, what she does digitally, with, well, her digits.



And you won't believe what she does to poor Mr. Bean. He ends up looking like a Fox news anchor. Photoshop should be used responsibly, people!



I prefer Mr. Bean as is, thanks!

Photo Play

I still don't have Photoshop installed on my laptop. Long story short, I bought CS3 for my Dell then got a MacBook for Christmas before I even got the thing out of its package. When I went to exchange it for the Mac version, they'd already moved on to CS4 and wouldn't accept it.

Anyway, until I do get it sorted out, I occasionally want to manipulate some of my photos beyond what my basic iPhoto application can do. While casting about for alternatives, I found this site, called Tuxpi Picture Editor.

All you do is upload your photo, and then choose from a variety of frames or cool effects like Wall Painting or Kaleidoscope or Pencil Sketch. There are 42 in all. Go to Tuxpi.com if you want to give it a try and send a link if you post your photos.