Monday, December 14, 2009

Why I Love Being A Canadian

1. Two-fours. Not to be confused with two-by-fours. Consumed on May 24th holiday weekend.
2. Mounties. With or without the trusty steed. Preferably with.
3. Cool inventions like the zipper and basketball. Yes, basketball is as Canadian as hockey, my American friends.
4. Discoveries like insulin. Almost as important as Hockey.
5. Tim Bits.
6. Maple syrup (sure it's made elsewhere, but Canadian maple syrup is the best because it comes from Canadian maple trees, which are the best.)
7. Excellent comedians like Mike Myers (don't judge him by his last movie, we all make mistakes, sometimes giant ones that smell bad when you get too close) or Jim Carrey (well....) and Dan Ackroyd (and he makes wine!)and Celine Dion (unintentional.)
8. Ice Wine.
9. Beavers. We like them so much, we've made them our national animal. Seriously.
10. Loons. We even put them on our money. Seriously.
11. We have a Queen, but it's a bit like having an elderly, hard-of-hearing aunt left in charge. Sure we love her, but she doesn't really do much.
12. If we had a woman and a black man running for office, we’d all vote for the gay Guatemalan-Scottish-First Nations-Tibetan monk performance artist with the limp.(That one came from Meg Fowler and it cracked me up mostly because it's true.)
13. Nature. We have a LOT of nature.
14. Also seasons that change, at least four times if not more. (There are only two seasons in Quebec - winter and road construction.)
15. Health care for all.
16. Lots of fresh water.
17. Did I mention hockey?
18. Poutine. Long live clogged arteries! (Remember, we have health care for all so go ahead!)
19. Buttertarts. I thought everyone knew about buttertarts, but they're Canadian, eh.
20. Saying "eh" at the end of sentences.

You know what? Just watch this.


Anonymous said...

Loved the mounties with the poem. Lesley

BB said...

Classic! Is it your independence day there? Some great inventions, plus comedians... isn't Shania Twain from Canada too? I might boast about her over Celine... but that's just me!

jeanie said...

I want to know if Tim Bits are anything like Tim Tams...

jeanie said...

Sorry - had to post another comment because when you are offered a word verification like "hustypod" you gotta think "is that Canadian?"

Linda G. said...

Okay, I understand all of them except 1, 5, and 18. (Can you tell I'm from the U.S.?)

[Verification word: shotten. As in "Help! I've been mistaken for a moose and shotten by a Canadian!"]

A Novel Woman said...

Ah, you guys kill me.

BB, Shania Twain is indeed a Canuck. Also Paul Anka, Anne Murray, Leonard Cohen, Michael Buble, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Gordon Lightfoot (I've met him, very nice), Sarah McLachlan (awesome, awesome), k.d. lang, The Tragically Hip....

Jeanie, Tim Bits are not anything like Tim Tams (ooh, I likes me some Tim Tams, especially the ones with caramel inside) but are merely the leftover bits cut out of a regular doughnut after they're cut. Little round "hole" doughnuts AKA Tim Bits. Tim Hortons is a famous Canadian doughnut chain. Hustypod? Sounds Canadian.

Linda, I explained Tim Bits above. A two-four is what Canucks call a case of beer, as in "Whatcha doin' this weekend? I'm pickin' up a two-four and headin'out to the cottage."

Poutine? It's a Quebec thang. Put poutine in the search function of my blog, or go to the entry on Wednesday, November 26, 2008. Or come for a visit and I'll treat you to one.

A Novel Woman said...

Shotten? A very handy word indeed. But your odds of getting shotten in Canada are lower than in the U.S. because we have gun control. Unless you visit Alberta. Then all bets are off.